Crucial Conversation with a Teacher

Background: One of Fernando's financial supporters volunteered to send the staff on a one-night retreat to San Pedro that would include dinner and a night's hotel stay. Initially, this sounds exciting, however, our staff had some concerns relating to ICEF's recent budget crunch. Should we go out spending this money on a retreat when resources are tight and jobs are being cut? Even though this isn't money coming from ICEF, it still feels odd for us to be spending money. Our staff then asked: Is it possible to get the donor to give the money for supplies instead? Of course if the answer to that question was "yes, we can get them to give the money to the school..." it would provide our team a neat opportunity to graciously decline the retreat in lieu of supplies for the school. However, the donor was very passionate that the gift was "for the staff" and that we really needed to the time to rest, relax, and reflect.

Well, our entire team understood that the gift was "restricted" and had to be used from the retreat. However, we had one team member who felt adamant that, given the economy, we should still decline this gift. I wasn't necessarily opposed to the idea, howver, upon discussing it with Fernando, I became confident that not only would we be throwing away an opportunity for some "team-building", our rejection of the gift would come across as rude and would rub the donor the wrong way. This donor has given many resources to Fernando and his organization over the years, so in essence, we might potentially be throwing future resources away (and a vast majority of these future resources would have direct impact on our students, unlike this retreat).

Anyway, this dilemma was explained to the whole team, and everyone was on board except for one teacher. After some thought, he drafted a fairly lengthy email addressed to me, Germaine, and Fernando explaining to us that he would not be in attendance. The three of us were quite disappointed in his decision. Germaine and Fernando seemed resigned to let him not go, however, I felt strongly as if his not going would convey a "negative attitude" and that his decision would start alienating him from our team. Thus, it was a prime opportunity to have a crucial conversation:

The Conversation: I notified him via email that I was going to need a few minutes of his time first thing on Monday morning. I made it known to him ahead of time as to the topic of our conversation. I'm glad that I notified him as an essential component to the success of the conversation was the fact that he didn't feel caught off guard. The conversation certainly went well with both parties respecting each others' opinion. I heard him explain to me how he "felt guilty" in this economy to be accepting this gift. He also has a strong background in economics, and he had calculated the value of the retreat... and he was certain that it wasn't necessarily a "good investment" and that buying a SMART board or LCD projectors would be a much more prudent use of the finances. After hearing him out, I then explained our administration's position. I also appealed to his sense of finances/resources by emphasizing that we'd actually be losing our on future resources if we declined this gift.

The Conclusion: Well, I'm pleased to say that he initially agreed to talk things over with his wife... and after that, agreed to attend the retreat. I felt like this was a big moment as, if nothing else, allowed him the chance to bond with our team instead of appearing as if he was isolationg himself. In summary, I think the success of this conversation only happened because I: a) made him aware of the topic ahead of time, b) listened to his points of view so thoroughly to the point where he had nothing left to say, and c) showed respect of his points of view so much to the point that I told him that "I'd completely understand if he still ended up not attending..." (which I meant sincerely, but I really wanted him to go nonetheless).